Welcome To The Neighborhood! Kingdom Hearts
by Higeki
Summary: This is meant to be funny. There's a little bit of everything in it. Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

A truck pulled up on the street in front of a large white mansion. A tall white haired man stepped out of the truck. His toned body was a sight to behold. Another man stepped out of the truck. His spikey brown hair swayed slightly in the breeze.

"Wow! This is house is beautiful!" the brown haired one exclaimed. They had decided to move from their home island after extreme boredom had set in. Living on an island in the middle of the sea with only wooden swords to play with could get a little tedious after awhile.

"Hopefully we can have a little _excitement_ here. What do you think Sora?" the white haired one smiled slyly at Sora, making his face turn red.

"Be careful Riku! I don't want Kairi to know anything!"

"She's going to have to find out sometime that you're not interested in her."

"Yeah but I worked so hard to save her!"

"Don't remind me." Riku took a box from the back of the truck and walked onto the front porch. He pulled the key out of his pocket and unlocked the door. A red haired girl was inside cleaning.

"Oh hey guys! Did you get the last of the stuff?"

"Yep! This is the last of our stuff. We are now officially moved away from Destiny Islands!"

Kairi walked over to Sora. She took him by the arm. "Let's go meet our new neighbors!"

"Um…ok. Riku, do you need me for anything?"

"No. Go meet neighbors with her." he sulked away into the kitchen. Kairi pulled Sora out the door as he watched Riku walk away. He felt a tear well up in his eye.

The house next to theirs was another mansion. This one however was grey with large stones lining the bottom. Kairi eagerly rang the doorbell. She stood there, holding Sora by the arm, smiling far too much for her own good. She loved to show Sora off.

A tall red haired man opened the door. "Can I help you?" he asked, and then he saw Sora. His mouth dropped open and his eyes went wide. Sora's hair gently blew through the summer breeze, making their new neighbor shudder with delight.

"We're your new neighbors! We thought we'd come and say hi! I'm Kairi and this is Sora," Kairi said oh so happily.

"Ummm…I'm Axel. Got it memorized?" he said, never removing his gaze from Sora.

"Who is it?" a voice from behind Axel rang out. A blonde boy walked up next to Axel. He wrapped his arm around Axels waist. 'Hi, I'm Roxas."

He extended his hand to Kairi who shook it politely. She felt her face start to heat up as she stared into Roxas' eyes. How could she feel this way? She loved Sora, but this guy was beautiful! He was like a blonde Sora!

"This is Kairi and Sora," Axel replied. "They're our new neighbors."

"Welcome to the neighborhood!" Roxas said cheerfully.

A menacing voice from inside the house was the next to make its presence. "ROXAS! WHERE IN THE HELL IS MY NON-FAT LATTE! GET YOUR PERFECT ASS IN HERE AND GET ME MY LATTE!"

"Um…who is that?" sked Sora.

"Oh, that's just Xigbar. He likes to boss me around." Roxas disappeared into the mansion.

"Man I wish he'd leave him alone," Axel said.

"How many people live here?" Kairi asked.

"There's 14 as of right now. We did have 15 but the one girl moved out. Her name was Xion."

A rumble of thunder was heard off in the distance. Kairi shivered and wrapped her arms around herself. "Let's go, Sora. I hate storms."

"Oh ok," he replied. He looked at Axel and smiled. Axel hid his face to keep Sora from noticing the blushing. Kairi grabbed her love interests arm and dragged him back to their house.

Axel turned and closed the door. He leaned against it and caught his breath. A woman entered the room. She had light blonde hair and a nasty smirk on her face. She glared at the love stricken man.

"What's the matter, Axel? Got a crush on the new neighbor?"

"No! Don't be ridiculous! My heart belongs to Sora!"

"You mean Roxas?"

"That's what I just said. I said my heart belongs to Roxas."

"But you said Sora."

Axel was speechless. He had said Sora. He brought his hand up and covered his mouth. How could he do that?

"Please, Larxene. Please don't tell anyone."

"I won't. On one condition."

"What?"

"Hook me up with that hot piece of ass that's living with those two."

"I don't know him. How can I hook you guys up?"

"Think of something. You have tree days, or I'm telling Roxas."

She walked up the grand staircase. Axel slumped to the floor. What the hell had he done?


	2. Chapter 2

For the rest of the next day, Axel wheeled around the situation in his head. How could he set Larxene up with a guy he didn't even know? And besides that, she was with Marluxia. How could she want to cheat on him?

Axel decided that instead of moping around he would come up with a plan. He looked outside and saw the sun glowing high in the sky. There wasn't a cloud in sight. That's when he got the idea.

"I've got it! I'm going to throw a party!"

There was laughter from the doorway. Axel turned to see a blonde carrying a sitar. "You? Throw a party?" he asked while laughing.

"Shut up, Demyx! I can throw a party and it will be on a scale of epic proportions! So epic, he'll have to sleep with her!"

"What the hell are you talking about? Who's sleeping with who?"

"Umm….no one. No one is sleeping with anyone!"

"That's too bad. I wish I could sleep with Roxas. Hey Axel, can I sleep with Roxas?"

Axel summoned a chakram and threw it at Demyx. He dodged it and ran down the hall. There were scorch marks on the wall where Demyx had stood. "Great. Now I've got to fix that."

Over at Sora's house, Kairi was sleeping soundly on the couch while Sora and Riku had a heated discussion on the back porch.

"I just don't get why you can't break it off with her," Riku said.

"It's complicated. She loves me. I can't break her heart."

"Even if it means you're breaking mine? I love you Sora! I want us to get married one day. I don't want that red headed bitch in the picture!"

"Don't call her that! And besides, I think her hair is more pink."

"WHAT DOES HER HAIR COLOR HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING?"

"You brought it up! Now stop shouting at me!"

"I'm sorry, sweetie. I'm just stressed out." Riku pulled Sora into his arms. Sora snuggled his face into Riku's muscular chest. Their love would have to remain a secret just a little longer.

There was a knock on the door and Kairi answered it. It was Axel.

"Uh hey there! Kairi, right? I came by to invite you guys over to our house for a big party we're having tomorrow."

"Oh that's so awesome! Thank you! I didn't think we'd make friends that fast after moving here. We'll be there!"

She shut the door and Axel sighed with relief. Larxene approached from behind him.

"Are you setting up my date?" she asked.

"Sort of. I'm throwing a party tomorrow night and I invited them. I'll try to hook you guys up there."

"Ok then. Your plan had better work." She walked over to their house.

How could everyone still let her live them? Axel hated Larxene. She was the only female living with them, which made everything extremely awkward.

Axel walked back over to his house to find Marluxia sitting on the porch. He had his face in his hands. Axel tried to keep walking but Marluxia grabbed the bottom of his coat.

"Axel…she…she killed them…"

"What? Who killed who?"

"Larxene…I picked her some flowers from my garden but she…she killed them! She chewed them up and spit them out at me! What I'm going to do? The flowers…they didn't do anything wrong! Show me the flower that ever hurt a man! You can't! There isn't one!" he sobbed as he spoke. Axel pulled away and entered the house as fast as he could, leaving Marluxia to cry about flowers. It was no wonder Larxene wanted to cheat on him so badly.

Inside the house was total chaos. Demyx was sitting on the couch, playing his sitar while Roxas was dancing for him. Larxene was laying on the floor while ripping flowers apart. Another stern looking man was screaming at Xigbar. This man had long silver hair. His eyes had malice in them.

"Xigbar…you have left far too many coffee cups laying around here. Be in my room in exactly ten minutes to be punished." The man ascended the grand staircase in a dramatic and slow fashion. Axel sighed to himself. How was he supposed to throw a party with all of the crazies he lived with?

Roxas saw the look on Axel's face and stopped dancing. Demyx gave him a disappointed look and stood up. He winked at Axel and left the room. Larxene got up and nodded to the freaked out red head. He knew what she meant with the nod.

"I'm throwing a party and I invited our new neighbors. It's tomorrow so-"

"WHOOOOO! PARTY!" could be heard from upstairs. It was Xigbar. A loud bang rang out and the silver haired man spoke next.

"I did not give you permission to speak!"

"Forgive me master!"

Everything in the house went silent.


End file.
